Weekly Knowledge #2 - Close to the Master.
Big Sur, California
21 Jun 1995
Close to the Master
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If you're not feeling close to the Guru, it's because of you. Because of your mind, because of your ego concepts. Share with the Guru that which is very important or intimate to you. Share that.
Do not feel shame, shy, or judgmental about yourself.
Unless you express to the Master that which is very intimate and important to you, just being on the formal and informal communication levels cannot make you feel close. "How are you, where are you going? How have you been?" Stop formal and superficial conversations with the Master and speak with your heart that which is very important and intimate, very deep to your life. Don't just say how much the squash costs, 30 cents or whatever.
If you don't feel close to the Master, there's no point in having a Master. It is just another burden to you. You have enough already. Just say "Goodbye," get rid of it.
Question: When you play little games and push us away, how can we feel close to you?
Answer: You should feel more close if you are pushed away, scolded or ignored. Because to ignore somebody takes a lot of effort. When a Master does not even ignore wrapping paper, or a flower that is in a vase, how can he ignore a walking, talking, breathing human being who is connected? How could that be ignored? So when you understand this, you already feel close.
Question: Can we call you every week?
Response from the room: Call Guruji every week and if he doesn't answer the phone then you know you are loved.
Answer: Yes, put that in. (Laughter)
You are with the Master to share the joy of the Master, to share the consciousness of the Master. For that, you have to empty your cup of what is already in it. So you share that with the Master. You share whatever you have and don't judge, "Oh, that is garbage." The Master is ready to accept any garbage of any extent. However you are, he will embrace you. He is ready to share. You only have to share from your side.
Jai Guru Dev :)
posted by In Search Of Myself at
5:28 AM
4 Comments:
It's not just about not feeling close to the Guru. Even to other people whom we do not feel close to, we say things like "wassup man!", "how's u", "hey man!", "how u doin!", "how've u been", “hows life!” etc knowing very well what the reply would be or just not caring for whatever may be the response. A handshake is a mere extension of these ‘lifeless’ words, formality sake. Many a time it happens that the other persons hands are dead in a handshake
When you truly love someone, words are just incapable of expressing it. For that matter, words just cannot express anything that is profound. My friend and I often get into an argument only to agree finally that we never had any difference of opinion in the first place.
I have always wanted to ask Guruji many questions when I meet him. I once got a chance to do exactly that during my YES!+ Advanced course in Rishikesh. I really don’t know what happened, I found myself absolutely silent. So silent that I didn’t even answer the question He asked. And I have answered the same question to many people in many different ways. The question was, “Why are you growing a beard now?”
Some of my usual answers are:
“It grows. Therefore.”
“The beard is such a natural phenomenon. I just allow it to happen.”
“It is beautiful.”
“I’m too lazy to shave.”
“I just can’t afford to spend precious time on such a worthless act.”
“To save money.”
“Just so that you ask this question.”
“Woman look beautiful without a beard. If you find a woman with one, you’d vomit at the very sight of it. So, man started thinking to himself, “If women can look so beautiful without a beard, why not me?” Thus the foolish man began the practice of shaving off his beard.”
“My beard is like the earthing in electrical circuits. Helps me stay connected.”
Note: 1) Not all answers go to the same person. I use my discretion.
2) Not all are ‘my’ answers. Some have been ‘lifted’. I use them because I love them.
@Arun
"words just cannot express anything that is profound" absolutely right!!
The few blessed times I got to be with Guruji, I have always noticed myself going speechless. Those are the only times I feel and I know that I don't have to actually say something to Him, it’s just taken care of, it’s just understood. The moment sometimes just chokes me up to the point of tears.
One such incident would be when I attended Advanced course in Jan, B'lore, I was desperately in need of a job and therefore I always found myself in a state of confusion and I attended the course hoping I would get an answer from Guruji. And when Guruji made a surprise visit to see all the advanced course participants, I was taken aback and only left speechless. When He came to me I wanted to ask Him so many questions. All He did was smile and raised His eyebrows and nodded indicating that everything will be fine. The day I landed in Chennai, I was interviewed and I got placed the next day!
They say "actions speak louder than words" but I think it should be rephrased to "silence speaks louder than words"
Poorna
Jai Gurudev!!!
I have a very personal experience on this knowledge sheet.
I felt a little distance with Guru at the beginning. Lots of the time, when Guruji says hello to some old AOL people, I feel left out and ignored. I was so reluctant at the initial stages to go near to Guru as I had the feeling that he will ignore me anyway. The below incident is best example for that.
I went to Bangalore to see Guruji and ask him some special thing about my life. I made some arrangements to meet him with the help of people, I know best. After reaching Bangalore, I called that person and asked him where I should come to meet him. My thinking was he will take me to Guruji’s room and get me two minutes with Guruji. When I called him, He said Guruji will come for pooja, you can meet him there. I asked will you come here to help me out. He said I will come. After the pooja over, I called him again and asked him where you are? He replied, I am in office, find time when to meet him, when he goes to the car. I was so upset because of that reply.
As I left with no choice and I don’t want to give up, I accepted the situation and waited for him in the line to meet him. There were lots of people around and I couldn’t give full information to Guruji because of the mad rush. I gave some information in bits and pieces and I was so adamant that he is my guru and I should tell him and get the answer from him come what may. So I ran with him and I went to level of not allowing him to close the car till he replies to me. I was never that way before. I experienced giving 100%.
I felt I deserve meeting Guruji in a personal room. When I cannot meet him and ask an important thing I wanted to, why should I be in this path? Why should I have a Guru? This all thought happened in that very senile state of egoish mind at that time when I was so desperate to meet Guruji. I was laughing at myself later when I was back to my senses. How come all the people who know him at early days have access to Guruji’s doors. I felt so bad. I went up to a level of doubting full faith I had on him. But I have not given up the faith. With doubt I continued to be on the path and I am very grateful for that now. The doubt I had made me stronger today.
I realized later that
1. If I deserve more, it is lack consciousness & lack grows
More we are grateful more we get
2. I am one who put a barrier between me and my Guru
3. Situation as the testing ground for my faith.
4. Ego is the one which kept that distance from me and my Guru. That situation helped me dropping my Ego to a greater extent.
I also learnt service is the one has to be done without any expectations. In my case to be very open, I felt at that time I do lot of AOL work. So, better, you meet me Guruji. With this mode only I was desperate to get his time on that day.
Last week, when I was doing some seva work for Guru Purnima 2007 in California, One of the senior teachers called me and said Chidha; you are driving Guruji to the hotel. So take the car and park it in front of the hall and get ready. I just cried at that time in full gratitude. I tell you that experience was amazing experience in my life. This happened when I expected nothing out of the seva. I felt I am taken care of. Whenever I think about that moment with Guruji, I simply cry. Wonderful Experience!!!!!!
Jai Gurudev!!!
Love
Chidha
This happened during my first advanced course on june 3rd,the fourth day of the course when we were about to break our silence....i had no clue that we were going to break the silence and we were supposed to shout the word that we want...and i was thinking for sometime and wanted to shout my name or "appaaa" or "ammaa"...but then when we were supposed to shout i dono how but the word that came was GURUJI and to our surprise he was sitting in front of us !! i was in tears for sometime !! that was the first time i was seeing him and it was truly amazing !! i had no words ..... i cudn talk for sometime .... i was just gazing all around and everyone started moving closer to him and i was just sitting and pondering for sometime and then came back to my senses....at that point of time all my questions , thoughts etc were blocked....it was just awesome !!
After the course got over i had gone to the city alone to meet my cousins and friends and the next day we were supposed to leave to chennai... and that day i got my results in the afternoon time..this was my last semester results and when it had come i was sleeping ..my classmate had called up and told me to check it out...but i was not at all bothered at time to check it out ...then after somehalf an hour i got up and was trying to check it out but the website was too slow and i had called up my friend who was at the ashram at that time to tell him that the results have come..but he didn pick the call... i called others an then someone picked and told that we are meeting guruji personally...so your friend is there...give a call after sometime....i was like OMG !! i missed a golden opportunity and wanted badly to be at the ashram at that moment...i was really regretting at that point of time.... and after sometime my results came and it was the shock of my life !! i got 86% !! the highest in my 8 semesters !! in my entire college life ! i got no clue how i got that much...i know i had done pretty good but not that good.. and then i felt that even though i missed the opportunity to meet the gracious one ...a very special one that too...his grace was always there and i realised it at that moment a lot !! and everyone who was at the ashram was saying this !! i just cudn believe it ...that day was a very memorable one !! simply cant forget it !!
JGD !!! :-)
Skk
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